Yelling at Cows

We are currently spending an unexpected weeklong extension of our epic journey from Tucson, AZ to somewheresville, WA in Anacortes, WA near the San Juan Islands (Yes, that’s right into the heart of the COVID-19 virus US epicenter!). It has been the trip of a lifetime exploring the natural wonders captured in our southwest national parks. You’ve most likely seen some snippets of our stops on social media, however, I am not going to recap the details of the trip here. I have decided to first tell you about our greatest struggle this journey through explaining what it means to “yell at cows”.

Let me first tell you about travel days. Although Leah and I have become much more efficient during these days, it is still pretty tiring. The morning begins with a quick breakfast and clean up, which melds into securing the household objects and doors in preparation for travel. It has become my job to ensure the sewer is dumped, cleaned out and properly disconnected and stored. Leah continues to secure and store, making sure all toys and debris are cleaned and vacuumed up to prevent any catching of slides when retracting them back in. I continue to disconnect the outside stabilizers, water and electric, and make sure everything is secure with the tires and air pressure is reading where I want it. Leah makes sure all snacks are packed and kids are dressed before sending them out to get in the truck before hitching up. Once hitched we double and triple check before hitting the road. The full checklist is longer, but you get the idea.

Once on the road, towing our house, safety is paramount requiring consistent vigilance while driving and navigating unfamiliar territory. On the interstate, the maximum speed I will travel is between 65-70mph, respecting the limits of the truck, tires and axels. And then there are necessary stops for the kids to stretch, play, eat, use the potty (and for me in the morning – hey… I like coffee and I am approaching 40 pretty quick!), and fueling up the truck. Therefore, when we plan our destination stops and Google Map directions, the maximum we feel comfortable with is between 3.5-4.5 hours of drive time per Google. This easily becomes 5-6.5 hours of travel.

Once we arrive at our destination, we are all ready to get the heck out of the truck, but first we must register at the park office, find our spot, and then park it – around 3/4 times this is usually a significant process, as you might be able to imagine. Once parked, Arrow has to be unhitched, leveled, electric, sewer and water needs to be hooked back up. So yeah, travel days are long.

Oh… and did I mention we have a 6.5 and 3.5 year old with us? HA! Here is where the yelling at cows comes into play. We were traveling from Zion National Park up to Provo, Utah. It was a pretty standard travel day for us. Actually, pretty smooth as we hit the road earlier than normal. Leah is fantastic, so patient, during our driving days. Always prepared with as many options for activities for the kids from school work, to crafts, to snacks, to car bingo, to superhero games, to snacks again, to drawing games, to sing along songs, back to snacks again, finally to tablets when everyone needs a break. I have the excuse of driving us safely, but try my best to be involved as I can with games or songs or discussions, and of course break up “he touched me first” spats.

Faith will have her “limit met” outbreaks during our drives, however she is able to gain control with parental coaxing. I can tell Fisher has begun to feel more as grows into young childhood, and is having a difficult time breaking out of toddler mode with screaming and crying when acting out in frustration. This particular trip, having grown warry of traveling and over the novelty of Leah’s activities, he let us know at the top of his lungs, he was done. He could not break himself out his frustration and began to yell directly at Leah. I had no choice but to pull over on the side of the interstate and get out. I had no idea what I was going to do even as I was unbuckling him and removing him from his car seat. We have used spanking before if his decisions were intentionally poor, but this was different. It was a deep frustration I was empathizing with.

I hadn’t realized until we were on the other side of the truck away from traffic that we were right next to a massive cow farm. I told Fisher there was no way I was going to allow him to yell at his mother like that – no matter how bad he felt – so if he wanted to yell, yell at the cows. I said go ahead, do it! He paused for a moment through tears to look at the cows and tried, but nothing more than a squeak came out. My heart broke for him, yet I continued to press him. Then I showed him how to yell at cows. Then I did it again. Then he joined me. And there we were yelling at cows off I-15 in somewhere, Utah. And it felt Good! To me at least. I’m not sure what Fisher felt, but it broke him out of his funk a bit and we were able to continue on with the rest of the drive. Oh, and the cows could give a rip. They just looked up and stared at us while chewing their cud.

Thinking about what transpired, I am so grateful for this experience, and every little teaching moment we’ve had. Every day is a struggle with the kids. They won’t listen, they fight with each other often, we have to bargain and remind just to do daily function. However, it would be no different if home was a house for us. And, we get to help them through it our way.

In regard to what Fisher was going through, I am so glad I have the opportunity to show him it is OK to be mad, to be frustrated and fed up. That is normal! That is how God made us! The earlier he can come to realize this along with appropriate ways to get it out, the better! I want Fisher to recognize the strength that lies within someone to identify a frustration, deal with it appropriately, asking God for help if it is truly too much to handle, and move on.

So if you are hurting, frustrated, confused, or maybe have just been in the car too long sometime in the next few days. Try it. Pull over and let it all out – go for it – yell at some cows (they won’t care, trust me). Then when you get back in your car, before putting it back into drive, give it to God – let Him have it.