Closing Time

“Every new beginning is some other beginning’s end.” Closing time, by Green Day. Do you remember that song? I would assume many of you reading at least lived through the same era I grew up in. Whether or not you remember Green Day, isn’t too important. Green Day was a pretty big band through the ‘90s, and I felt were pretty intriguing lyricists. The weight of this simple statement is certainly pressing down on my family and I right now. It is capturing the reality and excitement for sure.

I am currently dictating this on my drive to work the morning of May 8th, 2019 (by the time I have edited and published this post, we will have likely already closed on the house, sold most of our stuff and have initiated prep for our soon departure). I currently have only four more weeks working with and for a company that I’ve spent almost exactly 10 years with. A great company. A company that visibly and intentionally did their best to demonstrate value in relationships, value and purpose in their employees, and value in family as well. A company that invested in me, and helped me become an important part in the medical community in Southern Oregon. It is very tough for me to leave that kind of stability, reputation and community. However, at the same time, the job and commute have been taking away from time with my family at a very important stage in our growth together. I have never been asked to work unreasonable hours/week – any more than the standard 40 hours per week – so really any job would be impacting us in the same way. It is just a symptom and representation of the machine that is the US economy, driven by cultural demands. As you know by now, we are leaving that stability in effort to find a different organization to our personal structure in order to savor these precious years as a family.

–PS– if you’re ever in southern Oregon and need physical therapy, go to Jackson County Physical Therapy. They will take great care of you through a model that is very unique to a larger private practice clinic. You’ll love the people you meet there, and you’ll be grateful for the attention and quality care that you receive.

It is certainly closing time, and I am experiencing things that need to come to an end (some permanent, some temporary) for this next journey to begin. For example, I recently went on the last (planned for now) spring run of lower rogue river a yearly tradition for five years with the “core four”. It was awesome. It’s always awesome. Personally, this trip was a little different in that I I felt myself really soaking in each of the cherished memories and locations and conversations that we had, with the uncertainty t of not knowing when I would experience these particular sites, sounds, smells, rapids with these guys again. Is this my last incense cedar hunt for a while? Is this is my last run of Blossom Bar? Is this the last time that the four of us get to sit around the campfire enjoying the stars, enjoying the sound of the running water, enjoying the wildlife? Deep down I know it is not, It is just not a given any more.

From our last spring river trip, from left clockwise: the “core four” at Blossom Bar scout lookout, the pure scent of fresh incense cedar wood at Whiskey Creek, the last campfire.

Each year we come up with a few word slogan to represent that years trip. This year’s theme was “busted not broken”. It seemed to me that even my gear was telling us that this was the end of an era, demonstrating it’s wear and tear. Let’s see, the Spudazo’s (the raft) floor of the Raft had separated in a place that wasn’t patch-able and had a slow leak the whole trip, requiring us to often pump up before the rapids. What else… both latches broke off the cooler, my sunglasses broke, my waterproof camera got fried. Oh, and even our bocce ball set exploded on the rocks at horseshoe Bend. All these things were busted but the trip was far from broken, and didn’t even get close to disturbing the fellowship we were seeking that trip. I know without a shadow of a doubt that our closeness and community as the core four will take a blow, busted, with my families departure, but in no way is our friendship broken.

Our last campsite and busting bocce balls at Horseshoe Bend camp.

As we make choices in this life of what to do with the next 10 years, the next two months, the next minute, we often face the harsh reality that our choice may usher in change. Whether good or bad, big or small, I do believe all change must be grieved in a way. I am really going to miss Southern Oregon. I’m going to miss the physical availability of the friends that I’ve made. I’m going to miss the stability of working for a good company. I’ll certainly miss our gorgeous house that we’ve been blessed with. However, in each instance, I am comforted by the sense that I am I’m taking away all that was meant for me to take away. My friendships have etched a permanent spot in my heart. Friends that deeply impacted, changed, and motivated me. The company I work for demonstrated so many good qualities in regard to how a business could and should be run with employees first. Through intentional mentoring, I learned numerous invaluable on the job skills as a physical therapist. Our house sheltered us with beauty and comfort for nine years, kept my family safe, and provided the means to be able to live out a dream. Southern Oregon provided a culture in which I experienced the value of recreation and pride for local beauty, as well as the importance in a personal attempt to balance work and life experiences.

With our house closing drawing near, under contract with a good buyer, these realities are setting in. We are continuing to move forward with plans on how to rid ourselves of much of the stuff and belongings that we have (Update, closing is done and the garage sale already happened!) I am preparing my clinic and business for a smooth transition after my departure. Leah and kids have their one-way tickets to Indianapolis purchased, and I have figured out the flexible itinerary for the drive back across the country – with my Dad (that’s cool, right?) We have farewell parties planned. Closing time is nearly here. Certainly, many of the ties and experiences that I’ve enjoyed so fully in Southern Oregon can be captured in the same title of our most recent raft trip. The closeness and proximity to local friends, comfort and security in my job, all the fun I’ve had in Southern Oregon, the comfort of our awesome home, are in a way, busted. For, from this point forward, the above will not continue on in the same way. However, they’re absolutely not even close to broken as they will forever live with me. Forever cemented in my being, to helping us stay courageous in what we believe, and aiding our success in this new adventure.

The tentative route back to Indiana with Dad. I will capture the trip in a future post – stay tuned!