Saying Goodbye is Hard – Especially for Kids – Our take on how to turn it into a Positive

It is said that the only certain things in life are death and taxes… implying everything else is uncertain. It also implies change and variation to expectations is inevitable. There will always be goodbyes, life changes, challenges, and losses as we do our best with the time God granted us on this planet. These are tough, difficult, and big realities for adults, let alone children.

With life experience under our belts, an adult is able to recognize that there is always a counterpart: there will always be hellos, deep consistencies, victories and peace available. This proves to be an even a bigger leap of reality at times for many. So how can we help make these life occurrences positive for kids? You better believe they will face all of them and will need your help! (Shoot – sometimes it seems like my kids run the gamut before breakfast is even on the table!)

Living life as we do allows us to meet so many people. It also allows us very intimate time with family, possibly more so than if we lived a short drive away. However, these enjoyable times inevitably come to a close as we move on with our journey. The sting is real for us and our kids. Which I think will benefit them if we continue to handle it well!

Let me explain by sharing our journey from Indiana to Troy, Alabama.

We had a fantastic twelve weeks with our family in Indiana. It was filled with so much fun fellowship with our relatives and friends, and we even worked through some challenging life events. Rather than explain again – you can get the recap in the last blog entry Space to Soar. Yet, our journey would lead us south out of Indiana to Cookeville, TN early this past August. This came with the yearly difficult goodbye to our kids’ cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. And I’ll be honest, it stung for all of us – no less than it has every time before.

We were able to spend our first five nights back on the road with another full-time RV family. One we have learned so much from through their YouTube channel, and now as friends- Less Junk More Journey. Our paths first crossed in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan during the fall of 2020, and then again down in Key Largo, FL this past February. They have two young children who play so well with ours. Our time there was spent joyfully bonding as families with similar lifestyles and values, as well as visiting Cookeville and surrounding areas. Yet again, we faced a difficult goodbye when it came time for us to leave – the kids didn’t want to move on.

Yep – Mom takes one for the team again!

We then traveled to Cloudland Canyon State Park, a fantastic state park in Rising Fawn, GA. While there, we really got back into the groove in which our family thrives in. Our days were again filled with hiking, exploring the local nature, disc golfing, and trying out a the local fare.

Staying within the beautiful country of northern Georgia, we visited Hiawasee, GA next. While there we took in the Georgia Mountain Fair, danced in the rain when the RV park flooded, played on an epic inflatable water park on the lake, rode a “mountain coaster” in the German town of Helen, and made our way to the top of the tallest peak in Georgia at Brasstown Bald.

We had hoped to land our next contract somewhere near one of these towns in northern, GA, however due to a variety of circumstances it just wasn’t adding up for it to work out this time. Thankfully, Leah found a contract job needing her services back in Alabama. We are currently parked in a very nice and welcoming RV Park just outside of Troy, AL. We have already plugged into a local church community with the kids attending Awana and have Faith enrolled in voice lessons per her request. I feel we are going to thrive again in Alabama over the next few months.

So how in the world is all this moving locations, making friends and saying goodbye supposed to be a positive for the kids? I’ll be honest with you, that was a primary question of mine going into this lifestyle more than two years ago and is still very much with me today. I pray fervently that when the kids look back at these years they see the intentionality in the parenting Leah and I are consistent with.

We are able to show our kids how to be in tune with whom we are with, not distracted by the fleeting pleasures we are consistently bombarded with, and to fully enjoy our time with them.

We are able to teach them it is a “see ya later” not a goodbye to every person we leave… even if the worst were to happen. We were not able to say goodbye to my father-in-law, Leah’s dad, three years ago. But you sure bet the “see ya later” we last left him with will happen someday. He was, as we are, devout believers in our Savior Jesus Christ. On the flip side of that coin, we’ve even been blessed to help Faith through the question, “what if they are not believers?” To which we respond, lets pray that the way your light shined during your time with them helps them on their path to that ultimate truth.

We are able to show our children the meaning of deep consistency. Sure, where we are and who our family is spending time with changes frequently. But our family does not. The four of us are always there to lovingly do life together; from eating a good breakfast together, to struggling through math lessons, to hiking a peak, to sitting down together and listening. We are consistently there to love our kids.

Despite the nagging question of “Am I doing the right thing for my family?” that surfaces every time I hear Faith or Fisher state, “I wish we didn’t have to leave,” I simply comfort them with the thought that it is a “see ya later” and without it, we won’t have the next awesome hello. That comforts me along with the knowledge they are receiving an awesome education about the uncertainties in life.

The real cool thing? These are principles any parent can help their children learn – even if your lifestyle is completely different than ours. These difficulties in life will come up for your kids – take time, listen and teach them from a place they can understand. They will benefit greatly from the time you spend with them in those moments!

Actionable Steps to Take With Your Children When They Need You

1. Choose to Listen – these are big feelings for your little ones. Put your distractions and assumptions aside and listen!
2. Offer an alternate to the finality of saying “goodbye” – Let them know it is a “see ya, or talk to ya later”
3. Help them look forward to the next awesome “hello” – Every goodbye leads to the next hello
4. If you haven’t already, Establish your family’s “deep consistencies” – lean on those in these times, that alone will bring comfort to your little ones.

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

Winnie the Pooh

We hope you enjoy hearing about our journey and the lessons we learn about being a family together within them. It is a blessing to be able to share. We will continue to strive to tell our story in a way that might inspire or assist other young families. It is our hope that through these examples, we might be able to influence and strengthen the next generation through you, the parents and roll models of these young minds.

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Enjoy Your Journey!